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Thinkingallowed

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Thinkingallowed last won the day on September 9 2020

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  1. Wasn't sure where to put this but as this is one of, if not the, first threads Phil started on the board I thought it might be fitting. It isn't about what I'm doing but rather what Phil's widow is doing. Yesterday she called me to pass on the news that she has been granted her indefinite leave to remain in the UK. So right now she has had a huge weight lifted off her shoulders. Due to her uncertain status she has been unable to receive a single penny of help from the government since Phil's death. Not even the family allowance for their son Thomas. At the beginning of the year I asked if she thought we should try to get some help in case her paperwork had gone missing or something. She said she'd wait one more month, which is what she'd been saying since October. In non-covid times a case like hers would be dealt with in eight weeks but I was unsure what was normal in these strange times. When Puang told me a couple of weeks ago that she knew of a case that had been dealt with in pretty much regular time I decided I must try to do something. I used to live in West Yorkshire and have some connections in the political world there. So I made some calls and found some people to make some noise in the right places. I can't be certain that this helped but she got her right to remain which is the important thing. I've been living on tenterhooks in case I'd done the wrong thing but thankfully it is all over now. Puang is eternally grateful for the help members of the forum gave when Phil passed away and mentions it often to me. At Christmas quite a few guys sent cards, gifts and money to Puang and Thomas after she told me she was unsure if it was OK to celebrate Christmas after Phil's passing. She got calls and messages from members and their wives at that time which I know helped her a lot. Right now she is taking Covid very seriously and is isolating completely. She has the food shopping delivered and isn't going passed her garden gate at the moment. She said to me that after losing two husbands to cancer she couldn't bear it if she lost one of her sons and she couldn't risk leaving them as orphans. That said she seems cheerful enough when we chat. Again many thanks from Puang and Thomas for all the extremely kind help given from members and their wives.
  2. Was lovely to catch up with you and thanks for the lift
  3. It is over and went as well as these things can in these strange days. Can't write much now but Puang gave me permission to post this photo of Thomas and the flowers sent to represent the forum. Thanks to John Luke for attending and representing the forum.
  4. This is the eulogy to be read by the celebrant at the funeral. If anyone has anything to add please let me know. EULOGY Phil was born in Leeds on the 14th March 1970. He was raised with his sister Louise and Brother Mark. Happy times were had in the 1980’s when the family holidayed in Filey, spending time looking for crabs on Filey Brigg, fishing and building sandcastle fortresses. Phil career was varied and living for a time in Lanzarote meant that he ran a bar but then turned his hand to building swimming pools, a job which he loved. In 2006 Phil returned to the UK and began work fitting carpets for various establishments. He was well known and every one liked him. His friends expressed what a good friend he was and how he always wore a warm smile even on a dark day. He was knowledgeable about a variety of things and was always happy to help at the drop of a hat. Nothing was too much trouble for Phil and even if it was he was too polite to say so. He will be remembered by his fellow tradesmen for his reaction when he hit his hand with a hammer as he would run up and down blowing on his fingers. Phil had itchy feet and didn’t settle anywhere long. He made friends all over the world and in 2009 on a trip to Thailand he met his soulmate Puang. In 2011 their relationship began and I am told they were perfectly matched from the beginning. In 2013 Phil moved to Thailand to be with his wife to be. Puang had her own business renting out Motorbikes and the couple began working together, adding the sale of Android TV Boxes to their empire. In 2016 the couple moved to the UK. They were a couple built on great trust, shown especially when Puang sold her business and entrusted Phil with the money to set up a new life for them both in the UK. In 2017 the couple returned to Thailand to get married. They have been totally devoted to each other for ten years. There is a moment in time when the universe turns itself completely upside down and nothing makes sense anymore. It is a moment when facts become fiction and every truth you ever believed in instantly becomes a lie… It’s when the present becomes the past, your life story becomes a myth and your dreams become little more than childish fantasies… Your reality becomes an illusion as your anxieties transform into fear because somewhere inside you realize that this is the moment you are watching everything dissolve away into nothing… This is what it feels like to lose the love of your life - life can be so cruel. I know that in the days and months a head Phil would want you to help Puang as much as you are able. One of Phil's legacies is a forum he set up for mensimilar to himself who had a connection with Thailand. He was universally liked. Liked isn't a strong enough word, loved and admired would be more appropriate.Phil had over 15 000 followers and dedicated himself to the forum often spending all night on line helping people. Phil loving created the family home in Middleton andon the 29th November 2018 he became a very proud Daddy to Thomas. Sadly two years ago Phil was diagnosed with cancer. Puang, Thomas and Phil have spent every waking moment together creating memories. The day Phil went home for the last timethere was delight in his eyes to be with Puang and Thomas. Andy told me that as they were leaving Phil was helping him with good local information on how to get back to their homes the quickest and safest way. Literally helping others to the very end. Phil stayed strong for Thomas throughout his illness he wanted his life to be as normal as possible and for him to remember who his Daddy was. We can help Thomas to remember his wonderful Daddy by always speaking about him and keeping his memory alive. I hope today you can be comforted by this important last act of love and respect that you have shared in here today. Phil’s life has been like a tapestry into which you are all woven to some extent. The tapestry began on the 14th March 1970 and the threads were carefully knotted as Phil took to his final sleep surrounded by the love of his family; Puang, Thomas and Louise all holding his hand on 22nd August 2020. Phil's tapestry is made up of many threads of memories which, no matter how time passes, will always remain somewhere in your hearts, safely stored to be accessed when you need them.
  5. Money continues to arrive. From members like @Binlid, thanks mate, and non members like Amex who gave me money back from the funeral flowers which will be put into the fund and Mrs @Horizondave whose friends Patty, Jane and Cartoon have all made a donation. Presently £2953 has been paid out in funeral costs and the £500 cash given to Puang and there is £180 in the bank.
  6. And it continues. Last week a friend of Mrs Horizondave heard the story and made a donation and she told another Thai lady resident in the UK who has also sent some money. @Binlid was on the phone as soon as he got back from holiday today and has made a very generous donation too.
  7. Just received an offer of financial help from an anonymous member this morning. Thank you very much mate, very generous of you.
  8. I believe she has been offered help of a loan for this.
  9. Puang's plan is to stay in the UK and is applying for indefinite leave to remain which she should get no problem being the widow of a British citizen and mother of a British child.
  10. An update. We collected £2918 plus pennies. £2273 paid for the funeral. £180 was the cost of the celebrant to host the funeral and I topped up the remainder to make a nice round £500 which I gave to Puang today. I know that there are possibly another couple of donations to come but I wanted to give Puang some money today. She is fine but under a lot of pressure. I met a very old friend of Phil's today who, along with his wife, is helping her. Thomas is just a bundle of fun and is definitely going to be a big lad like his dad. Although he has dark hair like his mother I told him today not to get too attached to it as I think he may end up with a similar amount of it to his father. Puang asked me to tell everyone involved that she thanks them from the bottom of her heart and doesn't know what she would have done without the very generous acts of so many people. I thank everyone too and am very proud to know so many good hearted guys. The first drinks are definitely on me the next time I meet each and every one of you. Funeral is next Friday at 15:10 at Cottingley Hall crematorium. I'll make sure that there is a small floral tribute from the board. Was thinking to just put "from your friends in Thailand 247." Thanks again Andy
  11. You have six months to apply for this. Whether you are successful or not depends on which other benefits you are entitled to. Before Phil's death any benefits the family got were in his name and Puang is going through the process of applying for them now. If she applies for the bereavement benefit before successfully obtaining the qualifying ones she may appear to be ineligible. Or at least this is what we have been lead to believe. Unfortunately due to Puang's present status in the country the funeral directors were unwilling to do anything until £1000 deposit was paid and want full payment before the day of the funeral. This fund wasn't originally intended to pay for any funeral but events outside of the forum let Puang down badly and we stepped in as I honestly couldn't see another way around this for her. Quite a lot of the costs to the funeral directors had been racked up before Puang was aware of her situation and to be honest once professional funeral directors are involved the price of this funeral is pretty much as low as it gets. Hopefully she will receive this bereavement benefit and she can use the money for her and Thomas just like the original idea Tommy had. Presently there is enough to pay for all funeral costs and £300 for me to give to Puang and Thomas. I will have a chat with her later to make sure she is getting some good independent free advice. I'll also try to pursuade her to talk to the lawyer @tommy dee so kindly arranged. I've tried to avoid discussions about this and the reason why it became necessary for us all to help pay for the funeral as I know it would bring up a lot of emotions and cause a shit storm. To be absolutely clear it was noone connected to this board who let Phil down but by Christ did that person let themseves down.
  12. Yes got it mate. Extremely kind of you and much appreciated. Also received one from an old lady in the Thai community in the UK a friend of Mrs @Horizondave
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