ArtyGraph

The little one came through, stood in front of me & farted! 'What are you doing, that's horrific" I asked her annoyed. "Dad, they say Covid affects your sense of smell so I'm just being nice and doing a health check... you're fine!"

Apparently I've to re-introduce myslef to the forum. I'm Gordon and I'm an alchoholic.

This one, that I was asked to design and make print ready will fly over Glasgow during the Old Firm game on the 21st.

They will never be able to afford all the compensation claims and fines that they are facing in the Scottish courts in the next few months for harbouring and enabling a paedophile ring to operate at Celtic Boys Club with over 100 victims for 40 years now. Hail Hail.

Tragic for his young family left behind. God bless them. R.I.P. Phil.

My neighbour called the police to complain about me during the recent heatwave just because I was walking about the garden wearing only a pair of underpants! I got charged even though I argued with the nice constable that I thought they made a lovely hat.

In every area other than calculating the numbers of 100% of shares available.

Westminster Bridge, London. 8p.m. Thursday 16th April 2020. "Clap for the NHS". Social Distancing by the public, NHS staff and the Police??? Are they MAD??? clap.MOV

Lockdown fun with the little one... Playing darts with Briana during isolation and I hung up a map of the world and told her to throw a dart at it. "Wherever it lands we will go on a long holiday when all this is finished, I promise" I said. Looks like we will be spending 2 weeks behind the fridge!

They are all isolating it seems?

I made the mistake of telling Briana an early symptom of Covid is the loss of smell. She has now taken to farting in my vicinity and when I react she tells me “I'm performing a health check Dad, you're fine!”

http://youtu.be/J59q3rQhR6Y

@Thai Spice A relative of yours by any chance mate? 😄

'Live' (excuse the pun) up to date figures for each country + totals globally. https://www.worldometers.info/coronavirus/#countries

Boris.mov

I have a 50" I use for my computer monitor cost £299 a couple of months ago and just bought a 65" for the lounge yesterday £459.

What's the ideal weight for a mother-in-law?About 2.3 pounds including the urn..

A 9 year old boy from Liverpool went to the Chapel to ask the Priest for help. "Please, can you help me with my hearing?" The Priest cupped both his ears in his hands and the whole Catholic congregation prayed for him. On Amen the priest removed his hands and asked him "Has that helped your hearing?" "I don't know," said the boy, "It's not till next Wednesday."