Smiler

It’s the big day tomorrow for the lad who is going to don the monk robes. This evening 90 kgs of moo arrived and now there is at least 25 people preparing the porker. The guys would appear to be doing the heavy work with the big blades ( and loakow of course). The more delicate butchering is being taken care of by the women. Certainly a great atmosphere with lots of laughter. Might get a bit messy later on. Events like this are what family and “the village” are all about. It’s not for everyone of course but I feel privileged to be involved.

Just back from my mate the viking's house. Turns out the bloke in this story https://thepattayanews.com/2023/12/01/norwegian-motorcyclist-drives-into-dangling-cable-and-gets-injured-in-sattahip/ is his brother. He had a 3 year relationship with Mrs Smiler's niece but that is long over and done with. Spent quite a bit of time with him when he first came to the village. Poor bastard is in a bit of a state - broken collar bone, broken hip, 3 broken ribs and a punctured lung. Mrs viking is off down to Pattaya tomorrow to try and make some sense of it all. Seems like the Police are activlly pushing the company responsible for the cable to take care of hospital bills etc.

DM ed you

How long are you in Udon matey?

Well it doesn’t get much more exciting than this thrill seekers. A real “out there” adventure for the adrenaline junkies who like life on a knife edge…… Making “good luck” tokens for a family member’s forthcoming ceremony to become a monk. Each token contains 1 baht wrapped in a brightly coloured bit of fabric, held together by a laky band and even a ribbon for some. I think I may have peaked too early - only another 234 to go. Living the dream…..

I arrived at 14:30 Thursday last week. Was busy but not as bad as your pics. That said I went to arrivals 2. Wondering if one gets busier than the other?? Took around 20 mins to clear immigration but at least 5 mins of that was chatting to the very nice, friendly imm officers. “Boooeeee farang poot Isssaaaan etc etc”. Got into the baggage hall near belt 18 and had to walk down to belt 5. I stopped for a change of clothes and a fresh up mid way at the toilets. Suitcase just dropped down onto the carousel as I arrived. Swampy arrivals was the busiest I have seen since before COVID, not far from capacity I am guessing. Seemed to flow quite well tbh and wasn’t too painful.

Fair fucks to Buzz 👍not sure when that was filmed but he is got to be getting on a bit. Good on him for punching the twat 👍

If you ever met him (is he still alive?) how long would it be before you asked him about walking on the moon?? 😀🫤

Today I met an Englishman who lives relatively near to the village. I learned that he likes to drink alcohol, as much as possible, as often as possible and as cheaply as possible. Alcohol is his sole topic of conversation and would appear to be his very reason for living. That’s 5 minutes of my life I’ll never get back…

I am at Swampy waiting for my flight to Udon. After domestic check in I nipped outside for a ciggie and met a guy who I last saw almost exactly 2 years ago in exactly the same place. We did the covid quarantine thing together. Good to see him and catch up. We both were wondering what are the chances etc etc.

If I am off the weed (which I have been for a while now) then yes. Had a fantastic dirty dream just last night as it happens, absolutely marvelous, I kind of realized I was dreaming and made the most of it😃. I used to keep a dream diary years ago which I would keep by the bed and record any dreams as soon as I woke.

Mate when word of his “pet lie lie” eating prowess got out, people were turning up with various dishes to challenge him - he ate them all and now enjoys the nickname “Falang pet Yai “

No - if the the amount of chillis mean that I can't taste what I am eating then I don't eat it. Fresh chilli makes me hic-up profusely for about 5 mins, much to the amusement of some people..... I do however love the Thai foods that build in heat and intensity as you consume. Got a mate who is a real chilli freak, the guy regularly competes in chilli eating contests here in England, he is always looking to go one hotter and got a lot of respect when he first came to visit in the village.

Must have been a good 10 years ago that I had a haircut at the place on the corner of Soi Farang in Udon (not sure if it is there now). I got a stiffie while having my hair washed and as with all unwanted erections, this was a diamond cutter or big horse’s handbrake that would just not go away. Mrs smiler was waiting and I remember the “what the f**k?” look on her face as I shuffled almost bent double from the wash basin chair to the other side of the salon. Oh to be younger again 👀

Legend My first hero Rest in Peace Sir Bobby

I once asked Mrs Smiler why she bought a small bunch of runner beans from a young boy who came to the house. We had the only just got back from the market and got what I thought was enough from there. Her reply simply floored me - she said her sister and her used to do that when they were kids to try and make enough money to eat at school the next day. No hesitation, no question, we ALWAYS buy from callers to the house and local businesses.

I had a practice 16 month run at retirement once I managed to get back to Udon during covid. Was seriously thinking about cashing in a pension and going for it. Even though I was very busy - we demolished both houses in our compound and rebuilt them, established a Eucalyptus plantation, sorted out neglected farm land and I was spending a couple of days a week working online, the experience proved to me that I wasn't quite ready to retire. John Lennon said that "Life happens when you are making plans to do something else" (or along those lines). Events last year meant that I needed to get back to the UK and I actually enjoyed going back to work. As it happens the place where I have been working in Southampton for the last 4 months employs around 40 zero hour tempory workers and most of them are people who retired early. There are ex-coppers, council employees, RAF, Army, Navy etc etc. Sure some of them need the extra cash but ALL of them say they missed the banter, workplace camerarderie and most importantly something to keep them occupied, both physicaly and mentally. I have 36 more days then its back to the jungle for 3 months - just about the right split between working and being a beer for breakfast sexpat. 👀

Yeah same as mate - May she Rest in Peace.

I have been at the stage with Thailand for some years now where you could tell me almost anything about the place and I would simply shrug my shoulders, nothing really surprises me. However, a bloke I am working with showed me a post on his social media this week which certainly shocked him. Women goes for a boob job (Pattaya or Phuket I think). Is sent home all bandaged up and is told she can remove the dressings in a couple of days time. So she goes home to her village and invites a couple of friends and family round for the big reveal. She is very happy with the new size but when she took off the bandages she was somewhat concerned to find she had no nipples - they had been removed. Calls to the tit clinic go unanswered so she got a mate to go round there only to find the place is all shut down with no signs of any occupants. Apparently there is a big market within the ladyboy sector for womens nipples, who knew? Because I am a cynical bastard and again, nothing surprises me about happenings in Thailand anymore, I think there could well be an element of truth in the story. What do you reckon?

I learned that my close mate has come through his heart bypass opp which he had yesterday at Bangkok Hospital in Udon. Result👍

Fond memories of Rhossili when I was a kid. Thanks for the pics Dave 👋

Just about to start work, first shift for 6 weeks - going to be a challenge 😉

I am the opposite, no probs going to the UK apart from falling asleep by 9 pm for a couple of weeks. Travelling to Thailand seems to take its toll more and more these days, no matter what time I arrive. Takes a good 4 or 5 days for me to adjust and recover.

Back again in dear old Blighty…..sigh! Anyway, yesterday morning at Swampy was busy but not the clusterfuck I experienced back in January. Took around 40 mins to get from domestic arrivals through to the Miracle lounge (or whatever it’s called) at international departure. Was relatively painless and even included a ciggy stop, fast track would have been a waste of money. Thai Air TG916 was a way past its sell by date plane, 3x3x3 seating but as luck would have it had an empty one next to me, which makes all the difference. The food was meh as was IFE but the red wine was quite nice. landed at Heathrow a couple of mins early with hopes of getting the 8pm bus to Bournemouth but unfortunately and very annoyingly, we were given some BS about another plane on the stand and had to wait 30 mins. Turns out 6 police boarded and arrested a couple…….. so that was the real reason for delay. No wait at all at the border and I didn’t have checked luggage so it took just 15 mins after leaving the plane to get to central bus station.

Young Smiler is 13 today and I wanted to do something he would remember, so I gave him a driving lesson 😳