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Monger Songs


Glasseye
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Good evening, I'm from Essex
In case you couldn't tell
My given name is Dickie
I come from Billericay
And I'm doing very well
Had a love affair with Nina
In the back of my cortina
A seasoned-up hyena
Could not have been more obscener
She took me to the cleaners
And other misdemeanours
But I got right up between her
Rum and her Ribena
Well, you ask Joyce and Vicky
If candy-floss is sticky
I'm not a blinking thicky
I'm Billericay Dickie
And I'm doing very well
I bought a lot of Brandy
When I was courting Sandy
Took eight to make her randy
And all I had was shandy
Another thing with Sandy
What often came in handy
Was passing her a mandy
She didn't half go bandy
So, you ask Joyce and Vicky
If I ever took the mickey
I'm not a flipping thicky
I'm Billericay Dickie
And I'm doing very well
I'd rendez-vous with Janet
Quite near the Isle of Thanet
She looked more like a gannet
She wasn't half a prannet
Her mother tried to ban it
Her father helped me plan it
And when I captured Janet
She bruised her pomegranate
Oh, you ask Joyce and Vicky
If I ever shaped up tricky
I'm not a blooming thicky
I'm Billericay Dickie
And I'm doing very well
You should never hold a candle
If you don't know where it's been
The jackpot is in the handle
On a normal fruit machine
So, you ask Joyce and Vicky
Who's their favourite brickie
I'm not a common thicky
I'm Billericay Dickie
And I'm doing very well
I know a lovely old toe-rag
Obliging and noblesse
Kindly, charming shag from Shoeburyness
My given name is Dickie
I come from Billericay
I thought you'd never guess
So, you ask Joyce and Vicky
A pair of squeaky chickies
I'm not a flaming thicky
I'm Billericay Dicky
And I'm doing very well
Oh golly, oh gosh
Come and lie on the couch
With a nice bit of posh
From Burnham-on-Crouch
My given name is Dickie
I come from Billericay
And I ain't a slouch
So, you ask Joyce and Vicky
About Billericay Dickie
I ain't an effing thicky
You ask Joyce and Vicky
I'm doing very well

 

Edited by Derek Dangleberries
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  • 2 weeks later...
1 hour ago, Yessongs said:

Going to see " Foreigner" Tuesday.......Thai girls play " Head Games" Na Krap? LOL! 

 

 

 

👍           55555555555555555555

 

Can't wait to see the review and pics Mike !

 

Cheers !    

 

Have a great time !!!!

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18 hours ago, Derek Dangleberries said:

 

One of the most underrated performers from that era IMHO.

"Billericay Dickie"

"Spasticus Autisticus"

"There ain't half been some clever bastards" (lucky bleeder, lucky bleeders) - B side of "hit me" I think, might be wrong though.

Each time I listen to that track, i'm taken back to the early 80's, unemployment, riots, life in a comprehensive school, racism, IRA bombings in London, Thatcher, Tebbit, both my brothers living at home in our council house one a "Mod / New Wave" the other just a thug, donkey jackets, Oxblood (tan) airwair with white laces, me and my mate "banana" nicking his Dad's special brew, stitches done by my Mum on me after getting into a fight after I got pissed on special brew, me (a teenager) trying to make a decision on what I'm going to do, and as long as it doesn't include ending up like either of them then I'm happy. Ambition.

Fast forward to now.

Eldest brother is still a thug, but a very rich one. Other brother couldn't handle it anymore so "ran away", very far away.

Me, I'm ok. Did what I needed to do. Happy now, listening to the full album actually, looking back. I regret nothing.

Great memories Derek.

Enjoy the wine. 🙂

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3 hours ago, Butch said:

Each time I listen to that track, i'm taken back to the early 80's, unemployment, riots, life in a comprehensive school, racism, IRA bombings in London, Thatcher .......

Whenever I read BMs comments about being in Pattaya in the early 80s my mind goes back to where I was then..Hunger Strike riots in Derry, the night of the Droppin Well bombing (I still don't like inside bars) and I think what a bunch of diverse life experiences we have.

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