maipenrai Posted March 16, 2022 Share Posted March 16, 2022 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Glasseye Posted March 16, 2022 Author Share Posted March 16, 2022 12 hours ago, Nightcrawler said: I have always been an advocate of the "DUTCH OVEN" method of fart dispersal. For those who are not familiar with the practice, it involves pulling the bed clothes over your partner's head, after you have released a potent fart, thus forcing her to ingest the obnoxious gas. Always a bit of harmless morning fun,unless the tables are turned on you. I guess I am just an old romantic at heart My ex used to take a can of hair spray and hose me down whenever I did something like that. Cured me real quick of that habit. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Glasseye Posted March 16, 2022 Author Share Posted March 16, 2022 11 hours ago, Britboy said: In the early 80's I was a systems analyst, spending most of my time travelling round the world installing software and getting systems up and running for customers. We actually sold a system to North Korea and spent 6 weeks in Pyongyang with a hardware engineer. It was so boring, nothing to do in the evenings or weekends. On day 1 we started a farting competition, the rules being they had to be audible, there had to be 15 seconds between any double fart to count as two (pretty impossible to stop a fart mid way and hold the remainder for 15 seconds). There were no holds barred, any time anywhere. It got to the point where we were even dropping them in front of the Koreans. One particular time we were walking up some internal concrete stairs with our entourage (driver, interpreter, etc) and my engineer dropped a huge one, which echoed around us. We didn't bat an eyelid as we carried on walking. They must have wondered what the hell these westerners were all about . . . 😂 The competition finished on wheels down at Heathrow and it finished 493 all. To this day I claim the win as I did a big one on the plane during the last leg of the flight home from Paris, but my engineer to this day claims he didn't hear it. 😂 Laughing so hard at this I'm in tears ! 😂 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Butch Posted March 19, 2022 Share Posted March 19, 2022 I remember getting on board a Gulf Air Flight to Oman in the mid 80's, which was a shit day out in itself as it was the airline version of a number 22 bus , stopping here there and everywhere. Bloke next to me was squirming around in his seat, couldn't hold it in anymore, went red and let out a fart which turned into a very loud squelch, followed by an audible "oh fuckin' ell". I moved seats shortly after. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CalEden Posted March 19, 2022 Share Posted March 19, 2022 Hope Biden takes some Beano prior to his upcoming Europe visit. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Glasseye Posted March 19, 2022 Author Share Posted March 19, 2022 2 hours ago, CalEden said: Hope Biden takes some Beano prior to his upcoming Europe visit. What's Biden got to do with this thread ? Get off of it Cal, FFS. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CalEden Posted March 20, 2022 Share Posted March 20, 2022 22 hours ago, Glasseye said: What's Biden got to do with this thread ? Get off of it Cal, FFS. A little touchy there. To clarify for the ignorant one. The topic of the thread is "FARTS". The last time Biden went to Europe he flatulated in the presence of the Pope. It has been reported that it was a wet one requiring a suite change. Then while talking to British Royal Duches Camillia Parker Bowles, Biden let fly with a long and loud fart. Which Duches Camillia Parker Bowles talked about for days after. Beano is an enzyme-based dietary supplement that is used to reduce gas in the digestive tract, thereby improving digestion and reducing bloating, discomfort, and flatulence caused by gas. It contains the enzyme alpha-galactosidase. It was introduced as a liquid, but that has been discontinued and it is now available only as tablets and strawberry-flavored "Meltaways". Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Glasseye Posted March 20, 2022 Author Share Posted March 20, 2022 4 hours ago, CalEden said: A little touchy there. To clarify for the ignorant one. The topic of the thread is "FARTS". The last time Biden went to Europe he flatulated in the presence of the Pope. It has been reported that it was a wet one requiring a suite change. Then while talking to British Royal Duches Camillia Parker Bowles, Biden let fly with a long and loud fart. Which Duches Camillia Parker Bowles talked about for days after. Beano is an enzyme-based dietary supplement that is used to reduce gas in the digestive tract, thereby improving digestion and reducing bloating, discomfort, and flatulence caused by gas. It contains the enzyme alpha-galactosidase. It was introduced as a liquid, but that has been discontinued and it is now available only as tablets and strawberry-flavored "Meltaways". My apology.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nightcrawler Posted March 20, 2022 Share Posted March 20, 2022 Nothing worse than a follow through and "touching cloth" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Binlid Posted March 21, 2022 Share Posted March 21, 2022 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fygjam Posted March 24, 2022 Share Posted March 24, 2022 Brazilian singer taken to hospital after refusing to fart in front of boyfriend Brazilian singer Viviane de Queiroz Pereira, 27, ended up in hospital because she was reluctant to fart in front of her significant other. https://www.news.com.au/lifestyle/health/health-problems/brazilian-singer-taken-to-hospital-after-refusing-to-fart-in-front-of-boyfriend/news-story/afe62b6436aa005585ead282fbe2f2a8 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Glasseye Posted March 24, 2022 Author Share Posted March 24, 2022 WTF is wrong with her boyfriend ? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
forcebwithu Posted March 28, 2022 Share Posted March 28, 2022 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fygjam Posted March 28, 2022 Share Posted March 28, 2022 I've known Thai girls who'll kick you in the nuts, fart and then you run away. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fygjam Posted April 3, 2022 Share Posted April 3, 2022 Mum's 'incredibly rare' discovery after mysterious farting A mum has opened up about the horrifying moment she started defecating and passing gas through a mysterious tunnel in her bum cheek. https://au.news.yahoo.com/mums-incredibly-rare-discovery-after-mysterious-farting-065038931.html Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Glasseye Posted April 3, 2022 Author Share Posted April 3, 2022 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Glasseye Posted April 3, 2022 Author Share Posted April 3, 2022 15 hours ago, fygjam said: Mum's 'incredibly rare' discovery after mysterious farting A mum has opened up about the horrifying moment she started defecating and passing gas through a mysterious tunnel in her bum cheek. https://au.news.yahoo.com/mums-incredibly-rare-discovery-after-mysterious-farting-065038931.html OMD !!!!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
forcebwithu Posted April 22, 2022 Share Posted April 22, 2022 Woke in the wee hours this morning from a dream about one my dogs taking a dump at the foot of our bed. As my head cleared I realized the smell was real and it was my lady who had let loose with a particularly smelly fart that had trigged the dream, and as the smell was strong enough also woke me from a sound sleep. Woke her up, told her what happened and we both had a good laugh about it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fygjam Posted April 22, 2022 Share Posted April 22, 2022 (edited) 18 minutes ago, forcebwithu said: Woke in the wee hours this morning from a dream about one my dogs taking a dump at the foot of our bed. As my head cleared I realized the smell was real and it was my lady who had let loose with a particularly smelly fart that had trigged the dream, and as the smell was strong enough also woke me from a sound sleep. Woke her up, told her what happened and we both had a good laugh about it. My Samsung air purifier with the activated charcoal gas filter/adsorber switches to high fan (it's normally on auto) at the first hint of a fart. Sorts it out in a few seconds. Edited April 22, 2022 by fygjam 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Khun Ling Posted April 22, 2022 Share Posted April 22, 2022 I had chicken vindaloo for lunch yesterday and WOW. The Mrs is starting a new job today and really need her sleep so I slept on the couch. My farts were so stinky that the cats got off their blankets and left the room 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lirchenfeld Posted April 22, 2022 Share Posted April 22, 2022 With the increase in gas prices, you might want to bottle your farts.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rumbleg Posted April 23, 2022 Share Posted April 23, 2022 It is better to fart and stink a little, than to bust your ars3 and be a cripple. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fygjam Posted June 7, 2022 Share Posted June 7, 2022 The farting ninja... see also at about 4:38 to see what it can do with an external speaker. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts