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Hakuna Matata from East Africa


Mr. Smooth

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I was originally booked into a studio that was further back away from the water, but the manager informed me she had some ocean view apts without a kitchen available if I was interested. She told me they went for $90 USD per night, but without breakfast, she would give me a discount of $70 per night. One look and I was sold. 

A few more of the property along with a photo of one of my neighbors and of the "white knuckle express" that brought me in from Nairobi.

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Looking forward to your report Eric. Since you mentioned you went there, I saw Kenya seems to be very underrated among Western travellers, including the “companion” situation. Always wanted to do Ethiopia as well, same area and I heard from my buddy it’s just awesome fun as a tourist, your $ goes so far

One look at that plane though, and I’m guaranteeing you I’d need a box of diapers! 

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12 hours ago, Golfingboy said:

One look at that plane though, and I’m guaranteeing you I’d need a box of diapers! 

Bombardier Dash 8,made in Canada.

IF it's maintained properly & IF the crews are competent you shouldn't have any problems.

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13 hours ago, coxyhog said:

Bombardier Dash 8,made in Canada.

IF it's maintained properly & IF the crews are competent you shouldn't have any problems.

It was actually a replacement aircraft, and airline, from the one I had originally booked with, East African Airlines. The propellers caused a nonstop vibration through the entire 1 hour flight and it was a bit strange to look out the window and see the landing gear emerge and unfold from underneath the wing!

But the cost for a one way ticket was only $36 USD, so I wasn't expecting many bells and whistles. I just wanted the flight to get me there, which it did without incident.

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6 hours ago, Mr. Smooth said:

It was actually a replacement aircraft, and airline, from the one I had originally booked with, East African Airlines. The propellers caused a nonstop vibration through the entire 1 hour flight and it was a bit strange to look out the window and see the landing gear emerge and unfold from underneath the wing!

But the cost for a one way ticket was only $36 USD, so I wasn't expecting many bells and whistles. I just wanted the flight to get me there, which it did without incident.

At least the landing gear emerged,they've had a few problems in the past with those gears.

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On 9/4/2022 at 8:26 PM, Mr. Smooth said:

I settled in and spent the next week in Diani Beach enjoying the local restaurants, nightlife and a couple of companions I had kept in touch with via whatsapp. While there is plenty of opportunities to meet women pretty much anywhere you go, having a couple of somewhat "known quantities", did pay off in the best ways you can imagine, as there was already a built in comfort level with them and the conversation over dinner and drinks flowed easily. And having some great meals only enhanced the time spent with them.

My accommodation was tucked back off the main road about a 300 yard distance past a gate guard entrance, just off the main Diani Beach Road. And just across the road and down maybe 100 yards was a fantastic Italian restaurant that made a delectable cheese and spinach ravioli dish that was among the best I ever had. It was so good, I went back a second time for the same dish a few days later, alone this time.

A 15 minute walk away, there was a popular chain called "Java House", where they served all manner of hot and iced coffee, a variety of desserts and assorted sandwiches. Because of it's convenient location, it made for a perfect spot to meet with Njeri, a bartender at a popular nightspot. I'd got her number on my previous trip and we finally made a connection this time, and it was as good as I had hoped it would be. Though she had just one night off per week, she worked it out with a work colleague to pull a shift for her so we could spend more time together.

The other woman who would occupy my time in Diani, was Miriam, who in addition to working as a part time model, was employed in the transport business that involved getting farm produce to the market. She was as smart as she was gorgeous, and it took me a couple evenings with her to close the deal. But once we did, it was the kind of experience that one imagines he will have when embarking on such a journey.

Miriam, in addition to her looks, was a truly classy woman with a great personality once she felt comfortable, and I guess my charm and sense of humor won her over. We had a tremendous time together and she left open the possibility of more to come upon my return.

Living ten time zones away, despite the words and promises one might say, I know the deal as far as these things can go. But the thought was definitely a pleasant one to contemplate, and besides, I'm looking at a return in the spring of '23, so who knows?

 Here's a few shots of the ladies and the delicious food. Miriam wore this gorgeous, colorful dress. Even the Massai beach guard couldn't take his eyes off her!

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I really should go back to Africa, really enjoyed my time there.

People are so nice and friendly. Plenty hot available girls as well.

Love it there.

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23 minutes ago, galenkia said:

I really should go back to Africa, really enjoyed my time there.

People are so nice and friendly. Plenty hot available girls as well.

Love it there.

You would absolutely love Kenya, mate. Though lacking the numbers of Pattaya because of size, there are plenty of UK expats, as well as Germans, Scandinavians, and other Europeans and a smattering of Yanks who either live there year round, or spend a majority of the year there with one or two trips back home for a few weeks.

One huge advantage the European guys have over Americans, which I tried to explain to the ladies when I told them why so few Americans were here and if they had a white man for a boyfriend he would most likely be European, was that from about 5-6 airports in Europe, you can reach Nairobi in 8 hours nonstop. A guy can have breakfast at home, head for the airport, fly down, and meet up with his gf for a late night dinner in Kenya that same day. For me, it's a 30 hour journey, so not a lot of guys from the States willing to do that, or have the time necessary, to make it feasible.

Hell, after 8 hours, I might be leaving my aisle seat to take a leak in a cramped airline bathroom 33,000 feet above Greenland!

Not to mention at least half of Americans, maybe more, couldn't find Kenya on a map.

Edited by Mr. Smooth
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16 minutes ago, Mr. Smooth said:

You would absolutely love Kenya, mate. Though lacking the numbers of Pattaya because of size, there are plenty of UK expats, as well as Germans, Scandinavians, and other Europeans and a smattering of Yanks who either live there year round, or spend a majority of the year there with one or two trips back home for a few weeks.

One huge advantage the European guys have over Americans, which I tried to explain to the ladies when I told them why so few Americans were here and if they had a white man for a boyfriend he would most likely be European, was that from about 5-6 airports in Europe, you can reach Nairobi in 8 hours nonstop. A guy can have breakfast at home, head for the airport, fly down, and meet up with his gf for a late night dinner in Kenya that same day. For me, it's a 30 hour journey, so not a lot of guys from the States willing to do that, or have the time necessary, to make it feasible.

Hell, after 8 hours, I might be leaving my aisle seat to take a leak in a cramped airline bathroom 33,000 feet above Greenland!

Not to mention at least half of Americans, maybe more, couldn't find Kenya on a map.

I think you are underestimating the amount of airports within that range, from Schiphol it is 8 hours and 5 minutes, from Heathrow it is 8 hours and 35 minutes. The time zone difference between the UK and Kenya complicates it a bit more than those 30 minutes.

On the other hand, Bangkok is about 12 hours non-stop from Schiphol.

Last time I paid attention to it, about half of Americans couldn't even find the USA on a map.

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2 hours ago, Mr. Smooth said:

A guy can have breakfast at home, head for the airport, fly down, and meet up with his gf for a late night dinner in Kenya that same day. For me, it's a 30 hour journey, so not a lot of guys from the States willing to do that, or have the time necessary, to make it feasible.

Not to mention at least half of Americans, maybe more, couldn't find Kenya on a map.

I was looking from JFK or Newark, and I don’t think there are any direct flights anymore. Turkish is about 20 hours with a stop in Istanbul, and about $1K CAD, not bad. But yes, not the most pleasant or quick voyage for a North American

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1 hour ago, Golfingboy said:

I was looking from JFK or Newark, and I don’t think there are any direct flights anymore. Turkish is about 20 hours with a stop in Istanbul, and about $1K CAD, not bad. But yes, not the most pleasant or quick voyage for a North American

Actually, Kenya Airways, KQ, flies nonstop between Nairobi and JFK, in New York City. Last I checked, they were flying this 4 days a week, down from the 6 days when the route first started in either 2017 or 2018. It is roughly 13.5-14 hours to Nairobi, and about an hour more returning to NYC.

But in order for me to make that flight, I would need to book a red eye departing the previous night from California and combined with the 6-7 hour layover after arriving at JFK, it wouldn't do me any good. I'd just as soon depart from the West Coast for Germany, then connect. 

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After a week in Diani, I checked out and returned to Mtwapa, north of Mombasa, and what might be considered the Pattaya of Kenya, though on a much smaller, less in your face, scale. This is where I've been coming each trip since the beginning and I have been there enough times to be somewhat known among the locals and expat crowd.

Causaurina is the primary disco-club to find the hookers and would always have it's share of mzungus and expats coming in by midnight to check out the merchandise available. While it can be a fun night out, my own deal was in finding a nice young lady who worked at a pub as a server or bartender, or even in meeting someone who worked at a shop of some kind during the day selling clothes, trinkets, produce or whatever.

There was always some eager young lady working at a salon, asking me if I wanted to come inside and chat even though I had no intention of getting a haircut or manicure/pedicure. Just local ladies on the lookout for a white man and doing their best "come hither" motion to attract my attention before continuing down the road.

And there was the beach, with one of my favorite spots to go, The Big Tree Beach Bar and Restaurant. I took Milly there, and enjoyed a pizza, drinks and then a nice walk on the beach with the tide out several hundred yards. But as with Diani Beach, the breeze off the Indian Ocean carried the sound of the breakwater ashore from over a mile away.

Arriving here about 1 in the afternoon, it was easy to lose all track of time with the gentle ebb and flow of the passing scene, the combination of an ocean breeze, the sand and sea, the local music keeping an easy rhythm that was at once enchanting and hypnotic, and before I knew it, it was after 4 and time to get back for couple hours back at the apartment with Milly before she had to get home to prepare dinner for her mother and brother, as they all lived together and she took it upon herself to do the cooking.

While I'm sure whatever she cooked was delicious, I found myself going back to the Safari Inn, a favorite restaurant for many years, and ordering up their cordon bleu dish.

The day, and those that would come after, couldn't have gone any better.

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On 9/5/2022 at 9:36 PM, Freee!! said:

I think you are underestimating the amount of airports within that range . . .

I don't think there are that many with direct passenger flights.  Frankfurt, Amsterdam and Paris CDG are the only ones that spring to mind.

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2 hours ago, KWA said:

I don't think there are that many with direct passenger flights.  Frankfurt, Amsterdam and Paris CDG are the only ones that spring to mind.

I was a bit surprised to find you are correct, I expected direct flights out of Munich, Zürich, Milan, Rome, Madrid and/or Barcelona, but none of them.

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